My Ken
by Suerte1789
Summary: **KENSUKE** Davis's POV, thoughts about Ken and how he feels for him. He wonders how he can get up the courage to tell Ken how he feels, but is Ken ready for his affection? I suck at summaries ^^;; Please R/R!


  
  
I watch him; that hurt look in his eyes is so obvious again. Don't they notice? Don't they see that they're doing? Their silence slays him. Those violet eyes of his, glistening now with fresh tears that cannot fall, beg to be forgiven. But forgiveness doesn't come. The others don't see that I do...Kari, TK, Yolei, Cody...Why don't they understand? He has a soul too. He has feelings. Feelings that can be hurt. The others think that he caused them so much pain because he has no heart. I know the truth though. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know. And every time they don't forgive him, his heart gets stabbed. Poor Ken...living in a world full of back-stabbers that pretend to accept him.   
When we're all together, the whole group, he sometimes tries to fade into the background. No matter what I do, he still tries not to be noticed. I guess he's afraid. Afraid that if he makes a wrong move, they'll hate him again. It hurts. It hurts to see the unspoken cruelty they give him. So, I try to be kind. I want to be good to them all, but sometimes I get fed up...and then I fuss at them, for reasons they can't see. Reasons I can't reveal. They're just so shallow! How many times does he have to apologize? How many times does he have to cry? How many nights does he have to spend alone and lonely? And how long is it going to be before they forgive him?  
I wish I had those answers, but, then again, I wish a lot of things. I wish that I could help Ken. I wish I could tell him that there's no reason to keep apologizing. I wish I could hold him while he cries. I wish I could spend those lonely nights with him, so that he wouldn't have to be alone. For Ken, I would walk across a fire. I would swim across the ocean and even sacrifice my life; just so that he could be happy. He likes to act tough, and act like he is happy, sometimes. He likes to act like nothing is bothering him; nothing can penetrate and harm him. He likes to make the others think that he's as solid as a fortress, and just as immovable. He's fooling the others. With them, his plan is succeeding. But he can't fool me. I know that he's not invincible. I know that he can be broken. I know that the words of the other Chosen Children are like arrows and bullets, striking at his fortress walls. I know that one day the walls will fall down, and he won't even be able to pretend that he's tough anymore. That's when I want to be there to protect him, to let him know that he doesn't have to be brave, because I'll always be there to protect him. Because I love him.  
But I can't.  
Every time I try to tell him, the words just won't come. The tears do though. I cry too, just like Ken. Beautiful Ken...Does he know the way I cry for him? Hot, unstoppable tears that fall so fast that it hurts. Lord, how I want to stop those tears. I'm always afraid that I'll cry in front of him, my Ken-chan. I can't do that. It wouldn't be right. Because then he'd know. Then he'd know that I love him. And even though I want, with all my heart, to tell him...well...I just don't think he's ready. I think that you need acceptance and to feel accepted before you can even begin to think of real love. I accept him...but the others aren't ready yet. It hurts, but I'll have to wait. I'd wait forever for you.  
I wish that I could tell him at least that much. Tell him that I want to love him. Then he would know that all he has to do is ask, and then I could be there for him. I have this fear that he would laugh at me though. He might say, "Silly Davis! What do you know about love? Love is a burden...and you're so carefree...stay that way, you'll be happier." I had a dream once that Ken said that to me. I had just told him that I love him...And then he told me I shouldn't. It was a bad dream; and scary! What if it'll really be that way when I finally get the courage to tell him? What would I do then? And, yes, I know that love is a burden. I know that it can be hard to love someone. The thing is, for Ken, I would do anything. It doesn't matter how hard. It's not hard like work, it's hard like and adventure! And the adventure of loving Ken is one that I want to start as soon as I can.  
My mom told me when I was little that I was the kind of person who would work for something that I want and never stop until I got it. Well, right now, I want Ken. And I can't take "no" for an answer, I wouldn't even know how! I have to work really hard now, and if I do, I'll be able to tell Ken that I love him. And when I can do that, all the work will be worth it. And do you know what's even better? Ken will never have to cry, ever again.  



End file.
